I like to think it a success when the cops are called
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
