I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
