dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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