She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
