I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize