my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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