also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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