Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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