do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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