Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
