Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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