im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
