"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
