Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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