Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize