Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
