that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
