Already got asked if we're dating
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They took my balls.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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