I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
