she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
