she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
