I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
