dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
