Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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