Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My ass is underappreciated
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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