Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize