I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
