closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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