Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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