I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
