No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
