Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
