Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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