playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I enjoy the company of your penis
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