oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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