I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
