Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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