What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
