just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
