Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
