I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
