Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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