Kiss
Puke
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
