No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize