coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
