I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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