you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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