belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
