Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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