Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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