Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
