A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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