Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize