me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
