dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
