shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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