you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
