Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
