In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
