I want to make a zoo with you.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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