you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
