What did we do last night that was yellow?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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