Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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