are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
