How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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