I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
