Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
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