Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
