I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize