SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Randomize
